| Rawr. |
[26 Mar 2007|07:19pm] |
I don't know how to work anything on this site anymore.
I wanna change my background. This lame site wont let me make a new screen name.
Silly thing.
|
|
|
[28 Nov 2006|06:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
I haven't posted in forever, and I don't know if I'm going to start up again.
Something I want to say:
I am a dumbass, and instead of handing my test in I took it home...BY ACCIDENT.
How lame.
|
|
|
[10 Aug 2006|12:33am] |
|
I love her more than anything.
You don't compare.
I promise.
|
|
|
[10 Aug 2006|12:25am] |
hahaha.
I haven't updated in forever.
Basically, Josh and I aren't together anymore. And I'm bored with my life. IF ANYONE WANTS TO HANG OUT TELL ME OVER MSN.
♥
|
|
|
[14 Jun 2006|06:05pm] |
So I am in love with a boy named Luke Pickett.
He better not become mainstream, I think I'd die.
www.myspace.com/lukepickett
go listen.
|
|
|
[10 Jun 2006|06:45pm] |
I bring all this shit upon myself.
whatever...
|
|
|
[22 May 2006|08:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 naughty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
laughing, crying, shivering. |
] |
So, Josh came down this weekend.
He's amazing.
I'm in love. And now I can say that I'm sure its love.
|
|
|
[13 May 2006|10:16am] |
|
I think I'm a really big dumbass sometimes. So I basically got really hammered last night, and talked to Josh on the phone. He probably thinks I'm the biggest fag, ever. Sigh, its sad. He didn't know I was drunk, mind you.
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2006|02:36pm] |
|
Things are fucked up, and I've passed the point of not caring. Whatever, I'm done. And I've figured out things about myself and other people. People are faggots, seriously. These two months need to go by faster.
|
|
|
[07 Apr 2006|06:04pm] |
So,
I've realized that being miserable gets you out of everything.
|
|
|
[31 Mar 2006|03:21pm] |
So, I'm going to love him forever.
Theres no doubt about that.
lovelovelove♥
|
|
|
[29 Mar 2006|04:30pm] |
So,
we broke up.
For the 100000th time.
|
|
|
[27 Mar 2006|03:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
So, I plan on making this a really long entry, considering I haven't updated in forever. Everything is 'bleh' in my life right now. Nothing exciting is happening, nor anything devestating. Basically I hate English class, which really sucks because English is the one subject I am good in. My teacher is the nicest guy ever, and we have couches to sit on instead of desks, but I dread going to that class every day. I always get bored out of my mind and my stomach hurts. Not to mention he other day Mary, Rachel, and myself had to present this comedy act infront of the class. When I heard about it, I almost died. 1. I hate presenting things. 2. I hate that class. 3. I'm not funny. That pretty much ruined the days before the presentation. We decided we were just going to hold up pictures of the 'orly' owl in hopes people would laugh, or atleast smirk. There were a few laughs, but it was with out a doubt one of the most embaressing moments I've ever had. Actually, I would be in English class at this moment, but I felt really sick, so I took the bus and came home. I got off at the wrong stop, so I pretty much had to walk 10 minutes more than usual, which really pissed me off cause my stomach was killing me the whole way. School sucks, a lot. I seriously wish I was home schooled, things would be so much easier. I know these two boys who live behind me, and they are home schooled. Lucky. I can't concentrate in class, teachers are too stupid, and people shoot dirty looks, and talk shit for no reason what so ever. This semester better end quickly. I'm so sick of school, I'd rather stay home dying of some disease than go to that shit hole. I mean it, I hate school with a passion.
I've realized that I've become a lot more reserved. I hardly open up to people anymore, and I'm not as close at all, or even friends with the people I used to trust, and hang out with all the time. People are drifting away, and the only person I'm actually close with, and trust with my whole life is Josh. At this moment in time, he is my best friend. Everyone else seems to be getting on my nerves, or they act like they don't want to be around me. (And honestly I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be around a person who is always pissed off, and frustrated all the time.) Josh is going to come here in the summer time, which is going to be amazing. You probably think I'm weird, for meeting people off the internet, and meeting up with them, but I don't care. Josh is the best thing thats happened to me in a while, and just thinking about if he wasn't in my life, makes me sick to my stomach. I wouldn't have anyone to randomly blurt all my problems to, and have them listen, and help. I guess the reason I like meeting people off the internet first, then in real life, is because I'm so unsocial now. I have self esteem problems, and I think everyone hates me. So by knowing them before, I will get close to them, and tell them things about me, so when I actually see them in person it'll be like I've known them my whole life.
I also have trust issues. I don't trust anyone anymore, I can't open up to people. I really have no idea what has happened to me, but I've changed drastically. My voice gets all shakey, when I have to present, or talk infront of the class, and it never did that before highschool. I'm either going to fail civics or get a really good mark. It all depends on if I get motivated and decide to finish all the work that I havent done yet, or if I get lazy and decide to say fuck it, and just retake civics next year. I'm just writing down whatever pops into my head, chances are you havent even gotten this far. Which doesn't matter, because I'm writing this down for my own reasons. All this shit has been bugging me forever, and to have it somewhere other than my head will take a big weight off my shoulders.
|
|
|
[07 Mar 2006|06:10pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the spill canvas |
] |
My empty promises
Led to our demise
And I could never tell you how I really feel
And for that I eternally apologize
I hope you never forget the tapping at your window
With the harsh cold and the jealousy
Running through my bones
We were both selfish, but I think I was more
I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of myself that I have never seen
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun
And I guess these things just tend to fall apart
And I hope you feel the same
My empty promises
My empty promises
Brought us to an end
I just hurt you and I never looked back
Now I have no logic to defend
I hope you never forget the tapping at your window
With the harsh cold and the jealousy
Running through my bones
We were both selfish, but I think I was more
I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of myself that I have never seen
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun
And I guess these things just tend to fall apart
I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of the world that I have never seen
Yeah, I was young and dumb, but it still was fun
I'm forever indebted to you
I hope you feel the same
You seem like such a big part
Of my life and my heart
But the truth is I've found something new
And she easily towers over you
You seem like such a big part
Of my life and my heart
But the truth is I've found something new
And she easily towers over you
|
|
|
[02 Mar 2006|09:13am] |
I know I'm not the only one noticing this ; everyone is drifting away. It's pissing me off, and eventually things are going to blow up so big, that something really bad is going to happen. School sucks, teachers are fuckheads, and march break seems so far away. Everything is really shitty right now, and I'm about to lose it. I still have to ask my mom if Josh can stay with me for a week during marchbreak, cause his mom just wants to talk to my mom about it. This will be fun...sigh. Today I had to stay home and babysit my brother and sister cause they're both sick, and my parents had to go to work. So I'm really bored, and this weekend is going to suck. Oh, last friday Mary and Alessandra came over, and we did my hair. I love it.
|
|
|
[22 Feb 2006|03:16pm] |
Fuck, what shitty timing.
Thursday I'm guessing school with be cancelled half way through, Friday, if the school is opened I'm not going cause I'm getting my hair dyed brown, and I'm getting extensions. Fuck yes. And then later on in the night friends and myself are going to someones house, and pretty much just hanging out. Fuck semi, seriously.
|
|
|
[15 Feb 2006|09:32pm] |
i havent been so stressed out in forever,
i can hardly see.
|
|
|
[15 Feb 2006|03:44pm] |
so,
i got 56% average on my report card.
and i have to show my parents...
this will be a treat.
|
|
|
[09 Feb 2006|02:04pm] |
|
I'm really fucking pissed off right now. I studied my ass off for fucking history, and i got 53/85 on the exam. I could have sworn I got atleast 70. I knew the answer the EVERY FUCKING THING on the exam. And I passed the course with 50 fucking percent. I was getting a 45, so it bumped my mark up to a 49% and she just like...bumped it to a 50. I'm so fucking angry. My fuck...and I knew I wasnt going to do good in Science, but I fucking went from a 64% to 56%. I didn't even bother going to math, or gym. It pissed me off more that every single fucking person is running around the halls screaming OMFG YAY I GOT SO GOOD. ughhhhhh. Good for them, but I didn't want to hear it at all. I decided to take the bus home, and as soon as I walked outside the bus was coming so that made me a bit happier. On the walk home after I got off the bus I was about to cry. And to top it all off, I fucking hate going to school. I hate it so much, and I still have another fucking semester. OH! and all my friends pretty much hate me. Yep, or they don't talk to me. I'll be standing there, and they will ignore the fact that I'm there, and just talk to the person beside me. And, Josh is working tonight so I won't get to talk to him. Fuck that. I'm so sick of this, and I'm going to have a mental breakdown any second.
|
|
|
[03 Feb 2006|03:57am] |
|
Tonight was a load of fun. Sandi, Sabrina, Vanessa and I all hung out, and overall just had a really fun night. I love them, and they make my life complete.
( LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE )
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
poke_my_dot's journal