urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot we should shine a light on, a light on. Jessica Lestrange 2007-03-26T23:20:21Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:40776 2007-03-26T23:20:21Z 2007-03-26T23:20:21Z I don't know how to work anything on this site anymore.<br /><br />I wanna change my background. This lame site wont let me make a new screen name. <br /><br />Silly thing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:40647 2006-11-28T22:26:38Z 2006-11-28T22:26:38Z I haven't posted in forever, and I don't know if I'm going to start up again.<br /><br /><br />Something I want to say:<br /><br />I am a dumbass, and instead of handing my test in I took it home...BY ACCIDENT.<br /><br />How lame. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:40324 2006-08-10T04:28:41Z 2006-08-10T04:28:41Z <p><img height="267" width="200" alt="" src="http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i117/qwerty_LOLZ/downtown078.jpg" /><br /><br />I love <strong>her </strong>more than anything.&nbsp;<br />You don't compare.<br /><strong>I promise.</strong> </p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:40114 2006-08-10T04:20:01Z 2006-08-10T04:20:01Z hahaha.<br />I haven't updated in forever.<br />Basically, Josh and I aren't together anymore. And I'm bored with my life. IF ANYONE WANTS TO HANG OUT TELL ME OVER MSN.<br />&amp;hearts; urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:39893 2006-06-14T22:00:50Z 2006-06-14T22:03:32Z So I am in love with a boy named Luke Pickett. <br />He better not become mainstream, I think I'd die.<br /><br /><img height="260" width="200" alt="" src="http://myspace-648.vo.llnwd.net/00801/84/64/801284648_l.jpg" /><br /><br />www.myspace.com/lukepickett<br /><br />go listen.<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:39601 2006-06-10T22:40:10Z 2006-06-10T22:40:10Z I bring all this shit upon myself.<br />whatever... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:39222 2006-05-23T00:55:32Z 2006-05-23T00:55:32Z laughing, crying, shivering. So, Josh came down this weekend.<br />He's amazing.<br />I'm in love. And now&nbsp;I can say that I'm sure its love.<br /><br /> <a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="I love him."><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE071.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE057.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE034.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE028.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE026.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE2036.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE2031.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE2016.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE2011.jpg" /><br /><img alt="" src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i179/CUNT_CUNT/JOSHANDMEEE3043.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><font size="4">OH BTW! we're getting married.<br />you're invited&lt;3</font><br /></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:38725 2006-05-13T14:12:19Z 2006-05-13T14:12:19Z <font size="1">I think I'm a really big dumbass sometimes. So I basically got really hammered last night, and talked to Josh on the phone. He probably thinks I'm the biggest fag, ever. Sigh, its sad. He didn't know I was drunk, mind you.</font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:38582 2006-04-22T18:32:40Z 2006-04-22T18:32:40Z Things are fucked up, and I've passed the point of not caring. Whatever, I'm done. And I've figured out things about myself and other people. People are faggots, seriously. These two months need to go by faster. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:38222 2006-04-07T22:01:19Z 2006-04-07T22:01:19Z So,<br />I've realized that being miserable gets you out of everything. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:37931 2006-03-31T20:20:24Z 2006-03-31T20:20:24Z <font size="2">So, I'm going to love him forever.<br />Theres no doubt about that.<br /><br />lovelovelove&amp;hearts;</font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:37774 2006-03-29T21:26:38Z 2006-03-29T21:26:38Z So,<br />we broke up.<br /><br />For the 100000th time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:37380 2006-03-27T20:12:54Z 2006-03-27T20:12:54Z <font size="1"> <p>So, I plan on making this a really long entry, considering I haven't updated in forever. Everything is 'bleh' in my life right now. Nothing exciting is happening, nor anything devestating. Basically I hate English class, which really sucks because English is the one subject I am good in. My teacher is the nicest guy ever, and we have couches to sit on instead of desks, but I dread going to that class every day. I always get bored out of my mind and my stomach hurts. Not to mention he other day Mary, Rachel, and myself had to present this comedy act infront of the class. When I heard about it, I almost died. 1. I hate presenting things. 2. I hate that class. 3. I'm not funny. That pretty much ruined the days before the presentation. We decided we were just going to hold up pictures of the 'orly' owl in hopes people would laugh, or atleast smirk. There were a few laughs, but it was with out a doubt one of the most embaressing moments I've ever had. Actually, I would be in English class at this moment, but I felt really sick, so I took the bus and came home. I got off at the wrong stop, so I pretty much had to walk 10 minutes more than usual, which really pissed me off cause my stomach was killing me the whole way. School sucks, a lot. I seriously wish I was home schooled, things would be so much easier. I know these two boys who live behind me, and they are home schooled. Lucky. I can't concentrate in class, teachers are too stupid, and people shoot dirty looks, and talk shit for no reason what so ever. This semester better end quickly. I'm so sick of school, I'd rather stay home dying of some disease than go to that shit hole. I mean it, I hate school with a passion.</p> <p>I've realized that I've become a lot more reserved. I hardly open up to people anymore, and I'm not as close at all, or even friends with the people I used to trust, and hang out with all the time. People are drifting away, and the only person I'm actually close with, and trust with my whole life is Josh. At this moment in time, he is my best friend. Everyone else seems to be getting on my nerves, or they act like they don't want to be around me. (And honestly I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be around a person who is always pissed off, and frustrated all the time.) Josh is going to come here in the summer time, which is going to be amazing. You probably think I'm weird, for meeting people off the internet, and meeting up with them, but I don't care. Josh is the best thing thats happened to me in a while, and just thinking about if he wasn't in my life, makes me sick to my stomach. I wouldn't have anyone to randomly blurt all my problems to, and have them listen, and help. I guess the reason I like meeting people off the internet first, then in real life, is because I'm so unsocial now. I have self esteem problems, and I think everyone hates me. So by knowing them before, I will get close to them, and tell them things about me, so when I actually see them in person it'll be like I've known them my whole life. </p> <p>I also have trust issues. I don't trust anyone anymore, I can't open up to people. I really have no idea what has happened to me, but I've changed drastically. My voice gets all shakey, when I have to present, or talk infront of the class, and it never did that before highschool. I'm either going to fail civics or get a really good mark. It all depends on if I get motivated and decide to finish all the work that I havent done yet, or if I get lazy and decide to say fuck it, and just retake civics next year. I'm just writing down whatever pops into my head, chances are you havent even gotten this far. Which doesn't matter, because I'm writing this down for my own reasons. All this shit has been bugging me forever, and to have it somewhere other than my head will take a big weight off my shoulders. </p> </font><font size="2"></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:36904 2006-03-07T23:07:25Z 2006-03-07T23:07:25Z the spill canvas <font size="1"><font face="Verdana">My empty promises <br />Led to our demise <br />And I could never tell you how I really feel <br />And for that I eternally apologize <br /><br />I hope you never forget the tapping at your window <br />With the harsh cold and the jealousy <br />Running through my bones <br />We were both selfish, but I think I was more <br /><br />I would like to thank you, for showing me <br />A part of myself that I have never seen <br />Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun <br />And I guess these things just tend to fall apart <br />And I hope you feel the same <br /><br />My empty promises <br />My empty promises <br />Brought us to an end <br />I just hurt you and I never looked back <br />Now I have no logic to defend <br /><br />I hope you never forget the tapping at your window <br />With the harsh cold and the jealousy <br />Running through my bones <br />We were both selfish, but I think I was more <br /><br />I would like to thank you, for showing me <br />A part of myself that I have never seen <br />Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun <br />And I guess these things just tend to fall apart <br /><br />I would like to thank you, for showing me <br />A part of the world that I have never seen <br />Yeah, I was young and dumb, but it still was fun <br />I'm forever indebted to you <br />I hope you feel the same <br /><br />You seem like such a big part <br />Of my life and my heart <br />But the truth is I've found something new <br />And she easily towers over you <br /><br />You seem like such a big part <br />Of my life and my heart <br />But the truth is I've found something new <br />And she easily towers over you</font><br /></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:36831 2006-03-02T14:10:18Z 2006-03-02T14:10:18Z <font size="1">I know I'm not the only one noticing this ; everyone is drifting away. It's pissing me off, and eventually things are going to blow up so big, that something really bad is going to happen. School sucks, teachers are fuckheads, and march break seems so far away. Everything is really shitty right now, and I'm about to lose it. I still have to ask my mom if Josh can stay with me for a week during marchbreak, cause his mom just wants to talk to my mom about it. This will be fun...sigh. Today I had to stay home and babysit my brother and sister cause they're both sick, and my parents had to go to work. So I'm really bored, and this weekend is going to suck.</font> <font size="1">Oh, last friday Mary and Alessandra came over, and we did my hair. I love it.<br /> <p align="center"><img height="260" width="195" border="6" alt="" src="http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b397/leday/picturee006.jpg" /></p> </font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:36339 2006-02-22T20:14:10Z 2006-02-22T20:14:10Z Fuck, what shitty timing.<br /><br />Thursday I'm guessing school with be cancelled half way through, Friday, if the school is opened I'm not going cause I'm getting my hair dyed brown, and I'm getting extensions. Fuck yes. And then later on in the night friends and myself are going to someones house, and pretty much just hanging out. Fuck semi, seriously. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:35875 2006-02-16T02:29:10Z 2006-02-16T02:29:10Z i havent been so stressed out in forever, <br />i can hardly see. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:35770 2006-02-15T20:41:23Z 2006-02-15T20:41:23Z so, <br />i got 56% average on my report card.<br /><br />and i have to show my parents...<br /><br />this will be a treat. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:35478 2006-02-09T19:05:39Z 2006-02-09T19:09:14Z I'm really fucking pissed off right now. I studied my ass off for fucking history, and i got 53/85 on the exam. I could have sworn I got atleast 70. I knew the answer the EVERY FUCKING THING on the exam. And I passed the course with 50 fucking percent. I was getting a 45, so it bumped my mark up to a 49% and she just like...bumped it to a 50. I'm so fucking angry. My fuck...and I knew I wasnt going to do good in Science, but I fucking went from a 64% to 56%. I didn't even bother going to math, or gym. It pissed me off more that every single fucking person is running around the halls screaming OMFG YAY I GOT SO GOOD. ughhhhhh. Good for them, but I didn't want to hear it at all. I decided to take the bus home, and as soon as I walked outside the bus was coming so that made me a bit happier. On the walk home after I got off the bus I was about to cry. And to top it all off, I fucking hate going to school. I hate it so much, and I still have another fucking semester. OH! and all my friends pretty much hate me. Yep, or they don't talk to me. I'll be standing there, and they will ignore the fact that I'm there, and just talk to the person beside me. And, Josh is working tonight so I won't get to talk to him. Fuck that. I'm so sick of this, and I'm going to have a mental breakdown any second. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:35134 2006-02-03T08:55:32Z 2006-02-03T08:55:32Z <p>Tonight was a load of fun. Sandi, Sabrina, Vanessa and I all hung out, and overall just had a really fun night. I love them, and they make my life complete.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a name="cutid1"></a> </p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v406/randomfcuk/JESSSANDIVANESSASABRINA036.jpg"></p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v406/randomfcuk/JESSSANDIVANESSASABRINA024.jpg"></p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v406/randomfcuk/JESSSANDIVANESSASABRINA046.jpg"></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:34931 2006-02-01T18:08:04Z 2006-02-01T18:08:04Z I need to get photoshop or something, seriously. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:34735 2006-01-24T20:14:14Z 2006-01-24T20:14:14Z Today was such a horrible day.<br /><br />Everything about it was shitty.<br /><br />1st, didnt do anything, pretty much slept.<br />2nd, left for the beggining bit of class, then came back and the teacher rattled on about stupid fuck.<br />lunch...couldn't find anyone in the beggining, then i couldnt eat my fries cause there was way to much ketchup.<br />3rd, everyone went out to smoke, and I just...stayed in the class, and my stomach hurt a whole lot.<br />4th, had to run for 12 minutes, I didn't actually run though.<br /><br />then... i went outside, and it was really shitty. I was in a horrible mood, and ugh.<br />whatever, this is dumb. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:34527 2006-01-22T20:16:31Z 2006-01-22T20:16:31Z why would you let go of someone who loves you, and hold on to someone who doesnt give a shit? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:34259 2006-01-15T06:05:21Z 2006-01-15T06:05:21Z So,<br />he called me a slut.<br /><br />HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. THATS HILARIOUS.<br />die?! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:poke_my_dot:33899 2006-01-08T21:54:53Z 2006-01-08T21:54:53Z Schools tomorrow.<br />I don't want to go.